i am NOT perfect! nobody is. and i hate it when people are being so vulgar in judging me without even considering what i would feel. i know they just care about me so much and they just want me to be happy. but sometimes, they're being so harsh on me. it only adds pressure and it really makes me feel worse about myself.
i know what i did was just plain stupidity, but i was happy. i know i have to suffer the consequences of my actions and i'm ready. i just wanted to have that last chance of seeing him and that's it! it would be over.
whew! i just can't have the best of both worlds. the truth is, i've never felt that happy since then. when i received his message, telling me that he wants to see me, i got petrified literally! i was stucked in my position for a moment, i can't breathe, it was so intense and i nearly puked! gosh! i've never really experienced that thing before. my roomies told me that i shouldn't go but i can't stop myself from moving towards the door. i sooooo wanted to see him, and i did.
i told my bestfriend about it. she went nuts! she was soooo mad at me. i was hurt. well, i understand why she reacted that way. she loves me and she doesn't wanna see me wasting my tears for him again. whhhhooooooohhh! dunno what to do. i can't explain my side because i know she won't fully understand.
until now, she's not texting me (because i told her..). i want to talk to her but i don't know how to approach her. i'm afraid that if we would try to talk things over, it won't resolve the problem but just worsen the situation.
timing, timing! i want to fix things between us. i love my bestfriend. she's my sister and my soulmate. i just hope she knows how sorry i am. 
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